My girlfriend & I are moving in together. Well, more accurately, I’m moving in with her. Once we made the decision to live together there really wasn’t much of a choice about how we’d get that accomplished; she has a beautiful large home in a secluded area in the Georgia pines, and I live in a nice, but crowded, area of New Jersey. I could fit my whole house into hers … twice … and still have room.
Of course, there were many more factors other than the house to consider:
- I’m retiring, and she’s not quite there yet
- She has grandchildren (and a daughter/SIL) living across the street. I have no grandkids
- Her whole family (another married son, sisters, parents, more grandkids) lives in very close proximity (by GA standards). My family is pretty scattered and scattering even further as I type this
- She loves her, well, everything, in Georgia. The house, the area, her life there, while I am fairly blasé about NJ. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been a Jersey guy for a long time, but this state has its share of issues and I’m not sorry to be leaving. I will miss my daughter, but she can come visit as often as she’d like … I’m publicly offering to pay for her flights, so there will be no excuses
- It’s drastically cheaper to live in Georgia
- My “real” job has always been as a musician. The jazz music scene here in NJ area is quite poor, but the Atlanta area is actually quite active. That gives me room to go back to what I love to do; teach, write, arrange and do some recording. Those possibilities exist down south, but not here
After those points were considered (for about 13 seconds), the idea of Jersey life together was pretty much squashed. That was fine with me, I’m ready for a complete change after the past several years. I’ve grown more disillusioned with everything that has been happening in my life and, in truth, the only thing that kept me here this long was Bunny’s business, which obviously came to an end when she died.
During our recent “living together test run trial #1”, we selected some space in the home for me to put all of my junk. And I’m really not bringing much stuff down, just my basses (yeah, there are a lot and they do take up space) and music studio equipment, a few computers that I’ll be using for my “I’m Going To Write A Book Someday” work and for some part-time consulting I’ll be doing for my didn’t-I-just-retire job. We went through the house and selected some spots where I can be out of her way while she works (she works remotely, either from home or occasional travel), as well as keeping my Jersey junk out of the way of family and company.
My furniture and other worldly possessions will remain in the Jersey house for the time being until we figure out what to do with all of it. Really, I’m not very tied to any of it, no emotional bonds or anything like that, so as far as I’m concerned it can all be sold, donated, tossed, stolen, whatever. I’ll have my basses, my clothes, my computers and my dog … I’ll be moving in with a beautiful soul who is opening up her life to me to share with her … I’ll be leaving behind some dark and unpleasant memories of the past several years … Not really difficult choices to make, huh?
While it’s a done deal, we’re still proceeding ahead with “living together test run trial #2” to take place at the end of the month. And then a longer, final “living together test run trial #3” a week later, which is most likely a “lockup the jewelry, the Jersey guy is here” warning call to the neighbors.
Really, these “trials” are just for our internal chuckles. There is no question that we are a very good match, no question that this will all work out wonderfully, and absolutely no question that spending the rest of our lives together in Georgia is the exact right thing to do.
But there better be a good pizza joint nearby ….. and it can't be a Domino's, either