Sheila is gone, departed for Brownsville, TX for the week. I
usually take the trip with her but we decided we would hold onto our
dog-sitting favors for a real vacation and not blow it for the sake of
Brownsville, TX. So, for the first time since we became an "us",
we'll be apart for several days. This led me to think about some things that,
hopefully, never cross Sheila's mind while she is away.
We have done some yoga together, Sheila and I, and the results of
this effort are exactly what you’re all thinking right now … ugly, ugly, ugly.
(On my end, not Sheila’s) (She is very bendy, I’m the exact opposite). I found
this meme online that totally depicts our yoga together:
I can’t do the most basic stuff without getting a cramp in either
my legs, arms or back, so I end up just kneeling (yes, like the guy in the
picture) for the entire 40 or so minutes we do yoga together. Sheila is splayed
out on the floor like an amphibian, everything looking perfect and pretty and
bendy while I just kneel there. When it comes time to change a pose, I shift my
weight to alleviate the cramping while Sheila gets into whatever impossible
pose is next and I re-assume my kneeling position, praying that the cramps
don’t return and eternally grateful that none of my brothers can see this
disaster unfolding (not that they’d do any better, no way, those characters are
lucky they can walk in the upright position) (my brothers all look like the middle guy on the evolutionary chart).
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| The Goode Brothers - ^ - a work in progress |
I made darn sure that there was no yoga-ing going on before Sheila
left. The last thing I want is THAT image sitting in her pretty noggin while
she is in Brownsville, TX, surrounding by hunky cowboys. Before I dropped her
at the airport I did my very best to look as good as possible and try to leave
her with the impression that I was NOT like my caveman brothers and that I was
worth coming home to without carrying a copy of “Cowboy Magazine” in her
suitcase. I wore a fancy Tommy Bahama shirt and Horsetown jeans, too, in the
attempt to look suave (if you don’t understand the Tommy Bahama and Horsetown
reference than you need to do some reading and catch up) (of course, that
assumes you’re still reading this mess right now).
Speaking of Tommy Bahama shirts, I’m VERY happy to report that my
eBay purchases arrived without the dreaded pit stains or any other evidence of bodily
fluid secretion. Just keeping y’all up to date on the minutia that is my life …
As spring arrives here in the greater Atlanta area, Sheila has
been unearthing clothes appropriate for the season. She is a big-time dress
wearer and looks wonderful all the time, and this seasonal change has prompted
a major fashion show as assorted sun dresses and different tops are displayed
for me … but certainly not looking for my approval since it’s evident that I
have zero fashion sense. In “Sheila World” this hunt also reveals assorted
items that need some level of attention; “I found this old porcelain lamp shade
that would look beautiful hanging in the lower staircase going into the music
area, we just need to find a piece of rubber or something to stick in the top
so we can put a fixture in there and run the cord around the column at the
bottom of the staircase and we can put a remote switch on it so we can see
better when we’re going downstairs and that way no one will trip”.
Now, not many of you know Sheila that well on a personal level,
but those that do know full well she would never use so many words to express
her thought. What she actually said was, “This lampshade would look great
hanging in the staircase” … the rest of that I just extrapolated in my
dim-witted brain.
With Sheila gone these next several days I have created a list of
“to-do’s” that arose from the recent fashion show. And a lot of these things
are on the fringe of my limited skill sets, and this is where I could really
use my brothers being closer. Those guys are all mechanics, electricians,
carpenters with, you know, usable skills. I’m the family disgrace, a friggin’
musician for Heaven’s sake. But no, they’ll just leave me hanging down here in
Georgia while Sheila is in hunky cowboy land, expecting that many “to-do’s”
will be “got-done’s” when she gets home (hopefully without the “Cowboy
Magazine”).
Now, the thing is, Sheila has NO expectation of anything, this is
all crap that I have created in my mind. When she reads this she’ll just be
shaking her head, wondering where it all comes from. I better get some stuff
done so she doesn’t have time to head-shake or wonder …
This past Saturday before Sheila left I had the first rehearsal of
my newly formed jazz band at the house. It was just the initial get-together
with a female vocalist and a keyboard player, and me, trying some tunes out for
size and seeing if all of our personalities mesh. Sheila is crazy supportive of
my musical aspirations and was her usual welcoming self. Of course, since we
were having people over, she was worried that the house was clean and tidy … I
tried to explain these were musicians and that clean/tidy didn’t apply to them,
but it made no difference. Our already clean and tidy house was made clean-ier
and tidy-ier and Sheila was a superb hostess.
This made me realize that I needed to be more proactive in the
daily care and maintenance of the house. Now, in fairness to me, I do nearly
all of the cooking and food shopping, along with the daily dishes getting
cleaned and a good amount of the laundry. I think it’s only fair, since Sheila
still works a full-time job and I sit at home all day writing blather like this.
But even so, I can do better and I hope that when Sheila gets home (sans
“Cowboy Magazine”) she thinks, “Wow, this old guy kept the house up pretty well
while I was gone, maybe I’ll let him hang around here a while longer”
Of course, Sheila never thinks about stuff like this, it’s just more
junk I make up in my head. She’ll be thrilled to just get home to her comfy bed
and see the two knuckleheaded dogs without being concerned if the frying pan is
in the right cabinet.
I found out this past week that the neck on one of my basses is
shot, the truss rod (a steel rod inside the neck that is used to make
intonation adjustments) is completely maxed out (can’t adjust it any further)
so the bass is essentially now wall art. Of course, it doesn’t really matter
since I usually don’t play 5 string basses much, and this particular bass was
the heaviest one I’ve ever owned checking in at 14+ pounds (yikes!!!), but even
so, it is pretty and sounded sweet.
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| Heaviest Bass In The World |
So, to make up for it (or so I justify these things to myself)
I bought a new (used) amp that I’ve always wanted but didn’t want to pay
bust-out retail for it … a Phil Jones Bass Briefcase amp, so named because it’s
about the size of a fat briefcase. The PJB amp is amazing technology with 2
little 5” speakers that you’d swear would never work for a bass, yet it sounds
big and full and is plenty loud enough for the average rehearsal or small gig.
Just incredible how efficient this current technology has become.
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| Tiny little fella, isn't it? |
So now, in my current state of retirement, I find that I own 3
double basses, 8 electric basses, 4 bass amplifiers, a PA system and more
miscellaneous junk than I care to think about. And there is every likelihood that
I’ll own a set of drums in the very near future, too. This way I can finalize
the set up in my music area so rehearsals can be handled with a minimum of
disruption as musicians enter and exit the house. I’m sure Sheila never
expected to be inundated with all this junk when we first decided to
co-habitate in this beautiful home she created here in Georgia, but she is
crazy supportive of my musical goals … I only hope I can live up to those
expectations!
When Sheila gets back from Texas we will be preparing for the
family Easter dinner on Sunday. We had a great family dinner on Christmas Eve
and I expect that this will be just as cool (Sheila is VERY good at these
things!), really looking forward to having everyone here! Happy Easter from
Sheila and me to all who celebrate the day!
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